All These Gigs That I Have Done... (With Apologies to The Killers)

I get asked a lot about where and when I have performed thus far in my "career", so here is an up to date list of every gig I have done. And remember, if you do want to book me for anything, please contact me. Also, I've changed the structure of this page with my 2009 gigs first. For my 2005, 2006, 2007 and 2008 gigs, please scroll down.

2010

Saturday January 9th - Alexanders, Chester (30)

Sunday January 10th - "Boy Next Door Gone Wrong (Extended Edition)" - The Etcetera Theatre, Camden

Monday January 11th - UWE, Bristol (headline)

Wednesday January 13th - Ministry of Comedy, UCL (25)

Friday January 15th - Leicester Comedy Festival Preview Show, De Montfort Hall (15)

Saturday January 16th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

Friday January 22nd - Crack Comedy, Kingston (MC)

Saturday January 23rd - Metropolis, Bristol (MC)

Tuesday January 26th - Ginglik, London (MC)

Wednesday January 27th - Giggling Badger, Coventry (MC)

Thursday January 28th - Walnut Tree, Northampton (25)

Friday January 29th - Joker Club, Southend (25)

Wednesday February 3rd - OTK, Hawridge (MC)

Thursday February 4th - The Library, Leeds (MC)

Saturday February 6th - "Boy Next Door Gone Wrong - The Remix" - Bowies, Leicester Comedy Festival (9pm)

Sunday February 7th - Charity Hosting, Phoenix Square, Leicester (MC)

Monday February 8th - UWIC Student Union (Headline)

Friday February 12th - Frog and Bucket, Manchester (20)

Saturday February 13th - Frog and Bucket, Manchester (20)

Thursday February 18th - "Two Ice Creams on a Sunday" - Bowies, Leicester Comedy Festival

Friday February 19th - Giggling Badger on Tour, Cosby Village Hall (MC)

Saturday February 20th - Giggling Badger on Tour, Cosby Village Hall (MC)

Tuesday February 23rd - Bangor University (Headline)

Thursday February 25th - The Little Civic, Wolverhampton (25)

Friday February 26th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

Saturday February 27th - Crack Comedy, Kingston (MC)

Friday March 5th - Crack Comedy, Kingston (MC)

Saturday March 6th - Comedy Tree, Wimbledon (MC)

Sunday March 7th - Loughborough University (25)

Tuesday March 9th - Plymouth University (Headline)

Thursday March 11th - Leicester University (Headline)

Friday March 12th - Royal Agricultural College, Cirencester (MC)

Saturday March 13th - Comedy Tree, Wimbledon (MC)

Friday March 19th - Screaming Blue Murder, Dorking (25)

Saturday March 20th - Krater Club, Komedia, Brighton (20, 2 shows)

Thursday March 25th - Arts Centre, Pocklington (25)

Friday March 26th - Metropolis, Bristol (MC)

Saturday March 27th - Metropolis, Bristol (MC)

Thursday April 1st - Beer Festival, Repton (MC)

Friday April 2nd - Metropolis, Bristol (MC)

Saturday April 3rd - Metropolis, Bristol (MC)

Monday April 5th - Finnegans Wake, Ealing (MC)

Tuesday April 6th - "The Boy Next Door Gone Wrong" - The Blue Elephant Theatre, Camberwell

Thursday April 8th - Near Thirsk, North East (25)

Saturday April 10th - Comedy Tree, Wimbledon (MC)

Wednesday April 14th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Thursday April 15th - The Original Oak, Leeds (25)

Friday April 16th - Funny Bones, Durham (25)

 

2009

Tuesday January 6th - Chester University (20)

Wednesday January 14th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Monday 19th January - Theatre Royal, Stratford, London (20)

Thursday 22nd January - Baby Blue, Liverpool (15)

Friday 23rd January - Funny Bones, Gala Theatre, Durham (MC)

Sunday 25th January - Mirth Control, Exeter (20)

Tuesday 27th January - Corporate Gig

Friday 30th January - Funhouse Comedy, Nether Broughton (MC)

Saturday 31st January - Rainworth Miners Welfare, Mansfield (MC)

Monday 2nd February - Private Festival Preview

Tuesday 3rd February - Private Festival Preview - email me if you want it at your house!

Friday 6th February - Hotel D'Comedie, Leicester (20)

Friday 6th February - Bambu, Leicester - "Boy Next Door Gone Wrong" - review here

Saturday 7th February - Giggling Badger on Tour, Village Hall, Cosby (MC)

Sunday 8th February - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Tuesday 10th February - Gilded Balloon Pick of the Festival, City Rooms, Leicester (20)

Wednesday 11th February - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Thursday 12th February - Leicester University (MC)

Friday 13th February - Bambu, Leicester - "Boy Next Door Gone Wrong" - review here

Saturday 14th February - Buzz Comedy, Woodford (MC)

Sunday 15th February - Comedy Heaven, Phoenix Arts Theatre (MC) - With Ed Byrne, Sarah Millican, Rob Rouse, Josie Long and more!

Wednesday 18th February - Steel City Comedy, Sheffield (20)

Tuesday 3rd March - Funhouse Comedy, UBA Rooms, Burton upon Trent (MC)

Sunday March 8th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Tuesday March 10th - Jesters, Bristol (20)

Thursday March 12th - Mad Dog Comedy, Swansea (Headline)

Friday March 13th - Funhouse Comedy, Burscough (MC)

Saturday March 14th - Showcase Comedy, Coventry (MC)

Sunday March 15th - Buzz Comedy, Appleton Le Heath (MC)

Wednesday March 18th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Friday March 20th - Preston University (MC)

Saturday March 21st - Alexanders, Chester (20)

Sunday March 22nd - Chester University, Warrington Campus (MC)

Wednesday March 25th - Laughing Gear, Portsmouth (30)

Thursday March 26th - Funhouse Comedy, Bullit, Tamworth (MC)

Friday March 27th - Comedy at the Cottage, Redhill (20)

Saturday March 28th - The Quadrant, Brighton (20)

Thursday April 2nd - Spa Tickles, Warwick (25)

Friday April 3rd - Melbourne Legion (20)

Monday April 6th - Mirth Control, Torquay (20)

Thursday April 9th - Cinema De Lux, Leicester (MC)

Friday April 10th - Wheatsheaf, Soho (MC)

Saturday April 11th - Showcase Cinema, Coventry (Headline)

Sunday April 12th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday April 15th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Friday April 17th - GSOH, Evesham (MC)

Tuesday April 21st - Buzz Comedy, Bridlington (MC)

Wednesday April 22nd - Grand Theatre, Swansea (25)

Thursday April 23rd - Baby Blue, Liverpool (20)

Saturday April 25th - Esporta Health Club, Stoke (MC)

Thursday April 30th - GSOH Comedy, Windsor (MC)

Saturday May 2nd - Hepworth Village Hall (MC)

Tuesday May 5th - XS Malarkey, Manchester (20)

Sunday May 10th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday May 13th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Thursday May 14th - Edgeley Park, Stockport (MC)

Friday May 15th - Etcetera Theatre, Soho (Preview)

Saturday May 16th - The Plough, Marsh Gibbon (Headline)

Saturday May 16th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

Saturday May 23rd - Lone Star Comedy, Folkestone (20)

Sunday May 24th - Fallowfield Campus, Manchester University (Headline)

Thursday May 28th - Cinema De Lux, Bristol (MC)

Friday May 29th - Edinburgh Preview, Southwark Playhouse

Thursday June 4th - Edinburgh Preview, Because It's Not a Monday, Northampton

Friday June 5th - GSOH, Arts Centre, Cranleigh (MC)

Saturday June 6th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

Sunday June 7th - Actress and Bishop, Birmingham (20)

Thursday June 11th - Leicester University (Edinburgh Preview)

Friday June 12th - Edinburgh Preview, Cambridge Comedy Festival

Saturday June 13th - Download Music Festival, Donnington Park (MC)

Wednesday June 17th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Thursday June 18th - Frog and Bucket, Manchester (15)

Friday June 19th - Mitton, Lancashire (Headline)

Saturday June 20th - Comedy Tree, Wimbledon (MC)

Wednesday June 24th - Corporate Gig, Nottingham (20)

Friday June 26th - The Regal, Worksop (Headline, Ed Preview)

Saturday June 27th - Boston Arts Centre (MC)

Sunday June 28th - Spa Tickles, Leamington Spa (20)

Thursday July 2nd - Coachload of Comedy, Wilmslow (20)

Saturday July 4th - HaHaHeeHee, Esporta, Sunderland (MC)

Wednesday July 8th - Club 35, Carlisle (Edinburgh Preview)

Saturday July 11th - Laughing Horse, Uxbridge (20)

Wednesday July 15th - Careys, Coventry (20)

Friday July 17th - Edinburgh Preview, Arts Cafe, Northampton

Saturday July 18th - Jongleurs, Battersea (15)

Sunday July 19th - Splendour Music Festival, Nottingham (20 - at around 2pm)

Wednesday July 22nd - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Friday July 24th - Phoenix, Cardiff (Edinburgh Preview)

Sunday July 26th - Laughter Lines, Shrewsbury (MC)

Wednesday July 29th - Abbey Bar, London (MC)

Thursday July 30th - Therapy Comedy, Tunbridge Wells (20)

Friday July 31st - Sonisphere Music Festival, Knebworth (25)

Saturday August 1st - The Boat, Tattershall Castle, London (MC)

Thursday August 6th - Urban Comedy, Bury (20)

Friday August 7th - Skin Deep Magazine Tattoo Jam, Doncaster Racecourse (MC)

Saturday August 8th - Skin Deep Magazine Tattoo Jam, Doncaster Racecourse (MC)

Sunday August 9th - Skin Deep Magazine Tattoo Jam, Doncaster Racecourse (MC)

Wednesday August 12th - Hilarity Comedy Club, Alcester (Headline)

Thursday August 13th - Kayal, Leicester (MC)

Friday August 14th - Summer Sundae, Leicester (MC)

Saturday August 15th - Alexanders, Chester (30)

August 16th - August 31st, 10.40pm- "The Boy Next Door Gone Wrong" at The GRV Studio

Monday September 1st - Gig in Surrey for Duncan Oakley that I forget the name of (25)

Friday September 4th - The Courtyard, Hereford (25)

Saturday September 5th - Lone Star Comedy, Dover (20)

Thursday September 10th - Croyde Village Hall, Devon (40)

Friday September 11th - Bracknell Arts Centre (25)

Wednesday September 16th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Friday September 18th - Preston University (MC)

Saturday September 19th - Comedy Tree, Wimbledon (MC)

Tuesday September 22nd - CKP, Eaglefield Green (20)

Wednesday September 23rd - CKP, Ipswich University (MC)

Thursday September 24th - CKP, Sandgate Hotel (MC)

Saturday September 26th - HaHaHeeHee, Plymouth (MC)

Sunday September 27th - Buzz Comedy, Hull Ionians RUFC, Elloughton (MC)

Monday September 28th - De Montfort University Freshers Ball (25)

Tuesday September 29th - Liverpool University Student Union (MC)

Thursday October 1st - St Barts University (MC)

Friday October 2nd - Kill for a Seat, Blackwood Miners Institute (25)

Saturday October 3rd - Hampstead Comedy Club (10)

Sunday October 4th - Southampton University Halls of Residence (25)

Monday October 5th - Crescent Theatre Bar, Birmingham (20)

Thursday October 8th - FymFyg, London (10)

Friday October 9th - OTK, Riverside Arts Centre, Walton on Thames (MC)

Saturday October 10th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

Tuesday October 13th - Belmont Hotel, Leicester (20)

Thursday October 15th - Solo Show, Reading Comedy Festival

Friday October 16th - Wedgewood Rooms, Portsmouth (30)

Saturday October 17th - HiFi Club, Leeds (MC)

Sunday October 18th - Squirrels Comedy Club, Manchester University (Headline)

Tuesday October 20th - The New Globe, Mile End (Headline)

Wednesday October 21st - Hamptons Comedy, Southampton (Headline)

Friday October 23rd - Jongleurs Battersea (10)

Saturday October 24th - Crack Comedy, Kingston (MC)

Sunday October 25th - Opening Night, Holloway (MC)

Tuesday October 27th - Southampton University Student Union (20)

Wednesday October 28th - Abbey Bar, London (25)

Thursday October 29th - Lock, Stock and Barrel, Newbury (MC)

Friday October 30th - Giggles Comedy, Birmingham (Headline)

Saturday October 31st - Showcase Cinema, Coventry (MC)

Tuesday November 3rd - Glamorgan University (Headline)

Wednesday November 4th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Thursday November 5th - GSOH Showcase, Downstairs at the Albany (MC)

Friday November 6th - Preston University (MC)

Saturday November 7th - Laughter Club, Ely FC (25)

Tuesday November 10th - Aberystwyth University (25)

Thursday November 12th - Private Party Booking (MC)

Friday November 13th - Dunstable Cricket Club (MC)

Saturday November 14th - Havant Arts Centre (25)

Monday November 16th - Hilarious, Coventry (25)

Thursday November 19th - Lone Star, Cranbrook (MC)

Friday November 20th - Redhill Rugby Club (25)

Tuesday November 24th - Surrey University, Guildford (25)

Thursday November 26th - Broadstairs Pavilion (25)

Saturday November 28th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

Sunday November 29th - Venue TBC, Darlington (20)

Monday November 30th - Brook Theatre, Chatham (25)

Tuesday December 1st - Winchester School of Arts (20)

Friday December 4th - Crack Comedy, Kingston (MC)

Saturday December 5th - The Boat Show, Tattershall Castle, London (MC)

Monday December 7th - First Monday Comedy, Retford (Headline)

Tuesday December 8th - Therapy Comedy, Tunbridge Wells (25)

Wednesday December 9th - Therapy Comedy, Tunbridge Wells (25)

Thursday December 10th - Class Comedy, Thames Ditton (MC)

Saturday December 12th - Howlers, Cheltenham (MC)

Sunday December 13th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Tuesday December 15th - The Maze, Nottingham (Gong Show MC)

Wednesday December 16th - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Friday December 17th - Venue TBC, Preston (25)

Saturday December 19th - Comedy Tree, Putney (MC)

 

2008

Sunday 10th January - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Monday 11th January - Batson, Peterborough (MC)

Wednesday 16th January - Buzz Comedy, Beverley (20)

Thursday 31st January - Winder's Wheel, Chesterfield (20)

Thursday February 7th - Funny Buggers, Skipton (20)

Sunday February 10th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Tuesday February 12th - "My Name is Jim and I Have the Answers" - debut solo 60 minute show, Bambu, Leicester

Wednesday February 13th - Giggling Badger, Syston (MC)

Friday February 15th - Giggling Badger On Tour, Cosby (MC)

Saturday February 23rd - Odds On Laughter, Hove (20)

Thursday February 28th - Rawhide, Liverpool (10)

Saturday March 1st - Funny Bones, Forum Music Centre, Darlington (20)

Sunday March 9th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday March 12th - Giggling Badger, Syston (MC)

Sunday 16th March - Can't Remember the Venue for the Life of Me, Preston (20)

Saturday 22nd March - Havant Arts Centre, Havant (20)

Wednesday March 26th - Funny Buggers, Ilkley (Headline 20)

Sunday March 30th - Funny Bones, As You Like It, Newcastle (20)

Friday April 4th - Jolly Abbot, Rugby (20)

Saturday April 5th - Funhouse Comedy, Nottingham Oakdale (MC)

Monday April 7th - Leicester Comedy Festival Awards, Colourworks, Leicester (Host)

Thursday April 10th - The Glee Club, Birmingham (10)

Sunday April 13th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday April 16th - Giggling Badger, Syston (MC)

Saturday April 19th - Rafters, Barwell (45)

Monday April 21st - Barkestone Le Vale, Nr Grantham (20)

Thursday April 24th - Panchos, Stamford (Headline 30)

Saturday April 26th - Leamington Beer Festival (Headline 30)

Friday May 2nd - First Friday Comedy, Arts Centre, Wakefield (20)

Friday May 9th - Jack O Mitre, Huddersfield (20)

Sunday May 11th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC) - Also my 30th Birthday. Woot.

Wednesday May 14th - Giggling Badger, Syston (MC)

Thursday May 15th - The Hoot, Trinity Arts Centre, Gainsborough (20)

Tuesday June 3rd - Betsey Trotwood, London (Headline 20)

Thursday June 12th - Comedy Cellar, Lawrence Batley Theatre, Huddersfield (20)

Saturday July 5th - Jumping Jaks, Bournemouth (20)

Thursday July 17th - Limelight, Crewe (MC)

Thursday July 31st - Hollybush, Cradley Heath (MC)

Saturday August 9th - Summer Sundae Festival Comedy Tent, Leicester (20)

Monday August 25th - The Smirking Room, Leeds (20)

Tuesday 2nd September - Purple Monkey, Kettering (20)

Wednesday 3rd September - Mirth Control, West Hampstead (20)

Thursday 4th September - High Cross Shopping Centre Opening, Leicester (MC)

Thursday 4th September - Frog and Bucket, Manchester (10)

Tuesday 9th September - Black Swan, York (Headline 20)

Friday 12th September - Rossendale, Manchester (20)

Saturday 13th September - The Clarendon, Hartlepool (Headline 20)

Tuesday 16th September - Cheeky Monkeys, Birmingham (MC)

Thursday 18th September - Rawhide, Liverpool (10)

Saturday 20th September - Jumping Jaks, Bournemouth (20)

Wednesday 1st October - Stratford-Upon-Avon (20)

Thursday 2nd October - Funhouse Comedy, Eastwood, Nottingham (20)

Tuesday 7th October - Funhouse Comedy, Burton Upon Trent (MC)

Saturday 11th October - Leicester Tigers RFU, Leicester (Action Deafness Charity Event, Host and MC)

Sunday 12th October - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Tuesday 21st October - Leicester University (20)

Wednesday 22nd October - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Saturday 25th October - Blackfriars Arts Centre, Boston (20)

Wednesday 29th October - 99 Station Street, Burton-upon-Trent (MC)

Thursday 30th October - Bullit, Tamworth (MC)

Sunday 2nd November - Yots, Lincoln (MC)

Sunday 9th November - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday 12th November - Northampton University (20)

Thursday 13th November - The Wetmore Whistle, Burton Upon Trent (20)

Friday 14th November - Venue TBC, Lutterworth (20)

Sunday 16th November - Comedy Kav, Kings Heath (20)

Wednesday 26th November - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Sunday 30th November- All Saints Arts Centre, Barnet (MC)

Tuesday 2nd December - Student Union, Leicester University (20)

Wednesday 3rd December - Orgasmic Cafe, Lincoln (MC)

Thursday 4th December - Funhouse Comedy, Ashby (20)

Friday 5th December - Bishops Grossteste College, Lincoln (Headline)

Sunday 7th December - Funhouse Comedy, Nottingham (Headline)

Wednesday 10th December - Quality Hotel, Wolverhampton (Headline)

Thursday 11th December - Black Horse, Aylestone (MC)

Friday 12th December - Showcase Cinema Comedy, Coventry (MC)

Saturday 13th December - Showcase Cinema Comedy, Coventry (MC)

Sunday 14th December - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday 17th December - Giggling Badger, Nuneaton (MC)

Thursday 18th December - Cinema De Luxe Comedy, Leicester (MC)

Friday 19th December - Final Friday, The Regal, Worksop (20)

Saturday 20th December - GSOH Comedy, Folkestone (MC)

Saturday 27th December - Speakeasy Comedy, Sutton Coldfield (Headline)

Sunday 28th December - Comedy Cavern, Bath (20)

2007

Wednesday January 10th - Propaganda Music Canteen, Andover - MC, 40 people

Just as 2006, a low-key start to the year. Compere in an odd shaped room with too many pillars and a noisy (although friendly) audience that was basically all blokes. Two girls in, that's all. Had a surprisingly good time though, although did precious little material. Got to meet Gareth Berliner, who is very nice and an excellent act. Sam Stone performed in the middle, with Adam Ethan Crow storming it at the end. He's a bloody lovely chap, too.

Sunday January 14th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley - MC, 150 people

My gig, so forgive the bias. Lovely night, rammed full of people who all seemed to enjoy the night immensely. Silky headlined and battered a heckler verbally so badly that he may actually be dead by now. Matt Hollins and Gary Delaney also did admirably as we moved venue and the audiences came back, bouyed by being able to afford the beer!

Tuesday January 16th - XS Malarkey, Manchester - 15 minutes, 120 people

One of my favourite venues and also the hanging out point (it seems) for a lot of my northern chums. My second visit and although it was a tad harder than last time (large private party in, which apparently isn't usually allowed by XS) it was still tremendous fun. Leigh Jones opened, I followed and then Steve Shanyaski and Mundo Jazz followed, with Toby Hadoke as compere.

Friday January 19th - LCF Preview Showcase, De Montfort Hall, Leicester - 10 minutes, 1500 people

I swear, if I ever feel as high onstage as I did on this particular January evening ever again then you may as well kill me so I can savour the moment. Clearly the biggest gig I've ever been trusted with, with an unbelievable lineup of people I genuinely am in awe of: Jason Byrne as MC, with Russell Howard, Shappi Korsandi, Count Arthur Strong, Topping and Butch, Dan Clark, John Ryan, Arnab Chanda and Rhod Gilbert. Holy moly. Anyway, I followed Dan Clark and was terrified, something clicked after my first joke (which is my ONLY local joke, being from Leicester) and I relaxed and had as good a gig a wee lad of only 18 months experience can have in front of a pants-wettingly huge crowd. I got four rounds of applause during my ten minute set. FOUR! That's just crazy. I'm still buzzing now as I type this, nearly a week later. I even got a semi-decent Chortle review, which is nice. Although I disagree with the predictable jokes tag (well, I would, wouldn't I? I have one joke that is DELIBERATELY predictable) it's still nice to hear the word "great" in a review attached to a decent word. As opposed to "big arse".

Monday January 22nd - Beat The Frog, Manchester - 10 minutes, 100 people

A chance to perform the opening 10 minutes at the famous Frog and Bucket in Manchester. Lovely place, has a balcony and a gloriously smoky atmosphere that will be missed when they ban people puffing on tabs at gigs. Considering it's a competition audience (ie mainly people there supporting mates) this went rather well, probably due to a surfeit of confidence on my behalf (for once) following the previous Friday.

Tuesday January 23rd - Midlands Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - MC, 50 people

First trip to the Ale Wagon of 2007 - first of many. Another chance to try out Heaven and Hell stuff and generally be a bit of an oddball between the many impressive new acts in the competition. Won on the night by Bethany Black, with Matt Grantham, Timothy Telling and Danny Dawes also going through to the final.

Sunday January 28th - Havana, The Quay, Exeter - opening 20 minutes, 100 people

One of the longer trips that I can make to gig for Mirth Control, this was gloriously good fun. Got to see Sol Bernstein again, and he's lovely. Gig itself suffered a bit by having the worst radio mic in the history of the universe, so I shouted until I was hoarse. I kept up my current streak of picking on the hardest looking bloke in the audience, as I always do.

Thursday February 1st - CB2 Bistro, Norfolk Street, Cambridge - closing 20 minutes, 40 people

Hannah Dunleavy's gig in Cambridge - was very nice to be asked to close their first ever show. Fun, too - an audience that looked completely shocked at a lot of what I had to say. I love it when that happens.

Friday February 2nd - GSOH, Cranleigh - 10 minutes, 120 people

A bit of a try-out gig for Jon that went very well. I did have a very odd heckle from a tremendously middle class woman about pissing on mattresses that completely threw me, mind. Cranleigh is Britain's largest village, with over 25,000 residents. Which to me makes it a town. It's like me calling myself Britain's Largest Midget.

Saturday February 3rd - Knuts on the Road, Prince of Wales Feather, Castor - 25 minutes + encore, 80 people

Illogically awesome gig, and the first time I've had to do an encore, unless you count within my dreams. Pissed, rowdy, often disinterested crowd. By the time I'd got onstage they had finished clapping ten seconds previously, so I swore at them and did some cheerleading, and then just ripped into them with all the nastiest stuff I had. And for some bizarre reason, the folk of a posh village near Peterborough loved it and wouldn't let me leave. Great night.

Sunday February 4th - Kill for a Seat, Banbury - 10 minutes, 60 people

Lovely gig, went well. Tremendous fun.

Sunday February 4th - Kill for a Seat, Oxford - 10 minutes, 60 people

The polar opposite of the previous gig in Banbury. Actually, not quite. Is still a lovely gig ran by the lovely Silky. I merely failed the Silky challenge. Well, not fail - crashed and burned in the worst possible way. Probably my worst gig ever. Was annoyed with myself all the way home.

Monday February 5th - Lingerie Fashion Show, De Montfort University, Leicester - MC, 50 people

Women in underwear. Seriously. I don't need to tell you that this was fun.

Wednesday February 7th - Some Hotel I Forget, Southport - 10 minutes, 30 people

Damion Larkin is one of my best friends in comedy. Not just in comedy, in general. Lovely bloke and this was his first stab at promoting - I was saddened to see how few people were in such a huge room. He deserves better, people of Southport! Got to see Damion and Sarah Millican, Gonzo Kane and Jason Manford though, and they're all ace. I cut a lot of my act due to the easily offendable nature of the crowd and did Chewbacca impressions. I wish I was kidding.

Friday February 9th - Leicester Stands Up, Leicester - MC, 70 people

And so, the comedy festival begins. Slightly tentative audience but all the acts did well, even though I was a tad disappointed with the reaction that some of my new jokes got.

Saturday February 10th - Leicester Stands Up, Leicester - MC, 70 people

Much better. Possibly the best I have ever done as a compere - everyone again had a great gig and I was getting applause for every joke and huge laughter for every ad-lib. Felt very, very good.

Sunday February 11th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley - MC, 120 people

Attendance slightly down for us at the Badger as about 40 of our members went to see either Jimmy Carr or Count Arthur Strong. Still a fun night - Dan Willis opened, John Smith in the middle and the lovely, fabulous Ninia Benjamin headlining to a HUGE reaction. Stellar stuff. she's now best mateswith my Dad and I owe her a handbag. Long story.

Monday February 12th - Leicester Stands Up, Leicester - closing 20, 30 people

Headlining the club I love but VERY late in the day - felt that I regally buggered this one up but the reviews afterwards were very nice. A huge honour to headline the club that made me.

Tuesday February 13th - Heaven and Hell, Bambu, Leicester - 30 minutes, 50 people

The show created by me and Andy Kind. The basic principle being that he's going to heaven (he's clean, a christian and a jolly fellow) and I'm going to hell (I'm an atheist, divorced, manic depressive sweary weirdo) and we could do 30 minutes each without offending an entire audience either way. This went very well, I did the second half and we had a lot of people in a small venue watching two amateurs. A good night all round, and I got to hear Andy swear. Nice reviews, too.

Friday February 16th - Leicester Stands Up, Leicester - 10 minutes, 70 people

Used this show as a warm-up for the following night, as I hadn't done a tight ten in a while. Utterly lovely, probably went too well...

Saturday February 17th - Leicester Mercury Comedian of the Year 2007, Y Theatre, Leicester - 10 minutes, 200 people

Although DVD footage proves that I did have a decent gig, I'm not happy with myself here. I could have done better, but was SO desperate to win that I think it took some of my usual relaxed oddness away from me and made me a bit robotic. Was a good gig though, and got some nice comments from judges and audience members. Carl Donnelly won, officially making him my nemesis. Well, in that he beats me at everything!

Sunday February 18th - Heaven and Hell, Bambu, Leicester - 30 minutes, 15 people (1 vicar called Geoff)

Bit of a comedown from the first show, this was actually more fun. Just really chatty and relaxed, with Laim Mullone (the act who had a show on after ours) sat in the audience with his nice friends having fun. A good night, and was nice to go on first for this one. Felt we'd mined a lot of laughs from a very small audience who all went home happy.

Tuesday February 20th - The 12 Bar, 179 Westcott Place, Swindon - MC, 100 people

Compere at a free entry gig that was just far better than you imagine it would be. Michael Fabbri, Aaron Rice and the excellent Stan Stanley made up the acts. I got to walk onstage to "Kung Fu" by Ash which instantly made the gig awesome.

Saturday February 24th - Make a Wish Foundation Charity Show, Winchester - MC, 100 people

I was less a comedy MC and more a game show host for this, which was in a most worth cause. A very polite audience who weren't so keen on any dark or rude jokes meant I kissed my set goodbye and just let loose with banter and pissing about. The end result seemed to work out.

Monday February 26th - Hilarity House, Barkestone-le-Vale - Opening 20 minutes, 100 people

Zak Turner's old Hilarity House gig in Kidderminster was brilliant. This one is now in his own pub (brill), with free food provided by his lovely wife Hazel (double brill) and the audience consisting of very posh country nutters who love comedy (triple brill). Loved this, and filmed it for posterity too.

Wednesday February 28th - Propaganda Music Canteen, Fleet - Opening 20 minutes , 60 people

Another free-in gig that I expected to be bad and then ended up being good fun. Despite constant heckling from a northern girl who looked uncannily like my sister, the audience was well into my set and I had a lot of nice comments afterwards from punters who presumed I was full time. Bless 'em!

Monday March 5th - Blessington Carriage, Derby - 15 minutes, 40 people

Considering I felt like death (I did the gig wearing a coat and scarf as I was so cold), this was nice. Shuffled a few things around and tried to odd new line here and there. A good exercise.

Monday March 5th - Big Blue Coffee Bar, Derby - 15 minutes, 50 people

And then, a short walk to this gig. Much different vibe to it, a more polite audience so my set was chopped and change to accomodate. And they went with everything, which makes me very happy indeed.

Sunday March 11th - Giggling Badger, Hinckley - MC, 150 people

Another good night at the Badger, another good crown and a great lineup - Mark Allen, Rich Wilson and headliner Andre Vincent. Had a blast despite feeling ludicrously ill. I was, however, wearing a cravat for the show.

Thursday March 22nd - Spring Storm, Doncaster - MC, 30 people

Odd yet fun gig. Only two women in a chatty (but not hostile) audience of funny Northerners. Performed 25 minutes to start, then a break then the other acts - Sam Avery and Paul Betney. Audience went with everything when it looked like they could have been really tricky.

Sunday March 25th - Yots Bar, Lincoln - MC, 40 people

I nearly killed a man in the audience by getting him to stand on his chair. Great fun gig in front of a very posh but incredibly up-for-it crowd. Top stuff. Other acts were Anna Keirle, Dominic Woodward and Nick Page.

Tuesday March 27th - Avalon New Act Showcase, Tottenham Court Road, London - 10 minutes, 50 people

Hard gig for me, this - the least surreal act on a bill of very, very good acts. I started slowly but really seemed to bring things round by the end, which was most pleasing.

Saturday March 31st - Townhouse, Horncastle - Headline, 80 people

Ridiculously good fun gig compered by my mate Stu Wilde. Comedy brother Big D opened expertly, with newcomers Pikey and Chris Foster doing well in the middle. I wasn't looking forward to it. A gobby crowd who didn't seem to like anything odd was what faced me... and 45 minutes later I'd offended everyone, laughed my arse off, got enough rounds of applause to last me through the summer and answered the bar's phone with "Hi, the Townhouse. No, sorry. There's been a fire. Survivors? Naaah. All dead." Excellent!

Sunday April 15th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Sunday April 22nd - Amused Moose 2007 Laugh-Off, Frog and Bucket, Manchester (10)

Thursday April 26th - Huddersfield University (MC)

Friday April 27th - Redhill Rugby Club, Redhill (20)

Thursday May 3rd - Playhouse, Epsom (20)

Sunday May 13th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Thursday May 17th - Jesterlarf, Peterborough (MC)

Sunday May 20th - Yots Bar, Lincoln (MC)

Friday May 25th - The Glee Club, Birmingham (10)

Sunday May 27th - Laughter Lines, Shrewsbury (MC)

Tuesday May 29th - Purple Monkey, Kettering (10)

Wednesday May 30th - Purple Monkey, Northampton (10)

Sunday June 10th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Monday June 11th - Workshop Showcase, The Maze, Nottingham (MC)

Thursday June 21st - Best of Leicester Festival Show, Lakeside Arts Centre, Nottingham (15)

Friday June 29th - Football Q and A, Hinckley United FC (Support)

Saturday June 30th - Big D's 40th Birthday, Masonic Lodge, Leicester (MC)

Sunday July 15th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Saturday 11th August - Summer Sundae, Leicester (20)

Sunday 12th August - Summer Sundae, Leicester (20)

Thursday 6th September - Buzz Comedy, Doncaster (MC)

Sunday 9th September - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Thursday September 13th - Mirth Control, Bristol (20)

Tuesday September 25th - Lincoln University (20)

Thursday October 4th - Epsom Arts Centre, Epsom (20)

Friday October 5th - Bottle Rocket, Loughborough Town Hall (MC)

Saturday October 6th - Knuts Club, Peterborough (30)

Sunday October 14th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Wednesday October 24th - Belper Rugby Club (Headline)

Saturday October 27th - Mirth Control, Hereford (MC)

Tuesday November 6th - Rainbows Sportsmans Dinner, Hinckley (Headline)

Thursday November 8th - Comedy Lounge, Keighley (25)

Sunday November 11th - Giggling Badger, Marstons Stadium, Hinckley (MC)

Thursday November 15th - Stamford Hall, Leicester University (MC)

Tuesday 27th November - Hackney Empire Act of the Year Heat, Kilburn

Wednesday 5th December - Purple Monkey, St Albans (20)

Friday 7th December - Bishops Grossteste College, Lincoln (Headline)

Sunday 9th December - Giggling Badger, Hinckley (MC)

Thursday 13th December - Derby University Christmas Ball (Headline)

2006

Friday January 6th - The Princess Charlotte, Leicester - 7 minutes, 10 people (including the acts)

First post christmas gig, a short notice spot to try some new stuff out. Very quiet gig, but gave me a decent steer on what stuff to use and what to drop. Forgot to tell my best joke though. Of the guys whose names didn't slip through my brain, also performing were Matt Hollins, Dave Longley, Anonymous the Poet and Robin Cousins. Bloody cold in there.

Monday January 9th - The Blessington Carriage, Derby - 6 minutes + 1 minute finale, 80 people

A gong show for Spiky Mike - my first ever. Made the final along with Killian Monson, Andy Kind, Lou Chawner, a scottish guy whose name escapes me and eventual winner Johnny Sorrow (who made me laugh so much I cried). 15 acts on the bill, the rules were changed for the final part of the gig due to time constraints, hence me only doing 6 minutes and getting to the final (you needed less red cards to be eliminated to make it fair). I was the last act on and travelled with Mark Charlton, who went on first. A long, long, LONG night - but an enjoyable one nonetheless. Tested a couple of new jokes, they worked and will be used again.

Monday January 16th - Hilarity House, Old Waggon and Horses, Kidderminster - 15 minutes, 60 people

Zak Turner's gig in Kidderminster that I'd heard so many good things about. And boy, were people right. A fantastic gig that I foolishly thought wouldn't be fun. I thought the audience wouldn't like me as they were, in the main, older than my tender years. Wrong. They loved the rude stuff, laughed so much that I kept on ad-libbing extra stuff and made me feel warm and fuzzy inside. Zak and his wife Hazel are perfect hosts, and the other acts - Roland Gent, my old mate Lou Chawner and the stupendously fantastic Craig Deeley - made for a cracking night.

Wednesday January 25th - Cornerhouse, Burton on Trent - 10 minutes + 1 minute final, 60 people

Another gong show for Spiky Mike. I was performing with a lovely concussion, courtesy of a car accident the previous week. I was on third, was tired, cranky and not in the mood. Somehow a lovely audience voted me into the final once again, the fools! Not that I won, mind. Special mention to Pikey, a mate of Stu Wilde's who made the final in his first ever gig. Good for him.

Thursday January 26th - Comedy Junction, The Station Pub, Sutton Coldfield - 15 minutes, 100ish people

Wow, this was enormous fun. Was on second, the only open spot of the night. I followed the lovely Mahinder Sunairer, who actually got to see me this time. Crowd didn't seem to take to any rude stuff, so Karen Bayley (MC and promoter) warned me to perhaps tone it down. This flummoxed me. I don't have any clean stuff! Bizarrely ended up being an enormous amount of fun, seemed to get laughs where they were none before. Put me in a top mood, I tells thee.

Friday January 27th - Manor by the Lake, Cheltenham - 10 minutes, 17 people

Ah, the lovely Nik Hill. One of the nicest chaps in the world. This gig was a quiet one by Nik's standards, no doubt the finale of "Celebrity Big Brother" knackering sales a bit. Still, I went on after Demetrius Deech and basically pissed about a bit and had a laugh with a small yet very chatty audience. I also got to accuse my own Dad of being gay, which made me laugh a lot in a very childish manner.

Sunday January 29th - The Lescar, Sheffield - 10 minutes, 25 people

Toby Foster's legendary club - I didn't need asking twice to do this. It was the Lescar's first ever open mic night and I found it a bit difficult, a quite sober audience with a lot of open space testing me out a lot. But in the cold light of day, I got a laugh for every gag so it was mission accomplished. John Smith, the excellent Geordie comic, stormed it.

Sunday February 5th - Other Side Comedy, City Screen Cinema, York - 15 minutes, 100 people

This was a fantastic challenge. The ludicrously funny Dan Atkinson comperes this weekly club, and I was on a bill with him, Markus Birdman and Mark Watson - both of whom were splendid, hilarious and very nice to this newcomer. Strange shaped room but friendly crowd - sometimes they didn't seem to know what to make of me, but I seemed to do a decent job of winning them back over with extra punchlines for everything. Considering I hadn't gigged for a week, I really did feel on top form onstage. Bring on the comedy festival...

LEICESTER COMEDY FESTIVAL 2006

Friday February 10th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 10 minutes, 70 people (sold out)

The first of what would end up being 12 gigs in 9 days as part of the comedy festival - at the pub that would end up feeling like home to me, The Ale Wagon. Our very own night - a gig featuring acts from Leicester, all of whom came through Anthony King's workshops. Now, we expected to have 10 or 20 people in each night. It didn't exactly go that way... we sold out 5 nights and had the best time doing as many gigs as we could humanly do. More about these gigs at the Leicester Stands Up website. On the opening night the place was rammed and I had a good one, going on last but one. Bloody marvellous, and a testement to the hard work of everyone involved.

Friday February 10th - Phoenix Arts Cafe, Leicester - 10 minutes, 40 people

The lovely Alan Seaman gave me this gig, and most enjoyable it was too. Still buzzing from one set half hour previously, I followed the ball of comedy energy that is Andy Kind and preceeded Paul Kerensa. I thought I'd die on my arse, such was the middle class nature of the crowd. But they loved me, strangely. Even two blokes who had already watched me once that evening!

Saturday February 11th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 15 minutes, 70 people (sold out)

Night two of LSU, went on second and did my 15 minute set. Had another cracker. Felt a bit funny, I expected to be shit after the previous night's frolics. Followed Gary Mawby, who I love like a little curly haired brother. Then we all got drunk (well, not me, being teetotal) and we played the Leicester game. Ask me what that is sometime.

Sunday February 12th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 15 minutes, 50 people

We expected this to be a quieter day - and is was to a degree, but still nicely full and a good time was had by all. I went on in the middle somewhere, I forget. And hurrah! Could relax as I'd cleverly taken the week off. Mwuhahaha.

Monday February 13th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 10 minutes, 35 people

This gig was reviewed for the Leicester Mercury, and you can read more about that here. I had to go on first as I had another gig to get to, but somehow had a half decent gig whilst feeling like hell and being nervous - the fact I knew the journos were there got to me a bit. Still, seemed to go pretty well.

Monday February 13th - Laughing Horse New Act Heat, Leicester - 5 minutes, 15 people (WINNER)

A small but friendly crowd voted me and Andy Kind joint winners of our heat - with Rick Giddings, Matt Tinker and Anonymous the Poet also going through. Now, I love Andy. He's a good mate, and very very funny indeed. He was also head and shoulders above me on the night, and was a worthy winner. Sucks he had to share with me, bless him. But MWUHAHAHAHAHAHA I can now say "Laughing Horse Heat Winner" and not be lying.

Tuesday February 14th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 10 minutes, 40 people

Now, I wasn't meant to be on at the Ale Wagon on this particular night, but stepped in to go on third before legging it across town to do my Ship of Fools gig. And to be honest, I was very happy with my performance considering I wasn't mentally prepared to go onstage! This was the point where I started to feel like I was really getting somewhere with all the gigging - everything seemed to slot together nicely.

Tuesday February 14th - Ship of Fools, The Looking Glass, Leicester - 10 minutes, 30 people

Two gigs on Valentines Day - Jim is a bad boyfriend. My old haunt has lost none of its charm and I popped over with my comedy brother Big D to do a ten spot. Got to chat to the lovely Patrick Monahan, Dominic Elliot Spencer and James Mullinger before buggering off back to the Ale Wagon to tidy up. Showbiz!

Wednesday February 15th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 15 minutes, 70 people (sold out)

My first ever "proper" shot at headlining. I got to do 15 minutes - our other headliners during the week were Matt Hollins, Rob and Skatz and Anthony King. All of these men are professionals. I am an enthusiastic amateur. Matt and Rob and Skatz were all on the show, plus Anthony as compere. Was shitting myself because of the "headline" tag, the fact my sister was at the gig and the fact that I had to follow 6 great acts and a fantastic compere. That said, went ridiculously well.

Thursday February 15th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 15 minutes, 50 people

Once again, a night that was meant to be a night off became a gig - not that I'm complaining. Can't remember for the life of me where I went on, I think I was on first. This evening was notable as the first time my good mate Big D had been compere outside of one chartity gig (listed above). and he did a sterling job.

Friday February 17th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - Compere, 70 people (sold out)

Only my second time compering, but I had a lot of fun with this. In fact, a tremendous amount of fun. Hanging out with your mates is great at any time, but hanging around with my mates AND introducing them on stage to a rammed full room is an awesome experience. I was told I did a good job as compere, it's something I'd like to do a lot more of.

Saturday February 18th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - Compere, 70 people (sold out)

What an honour - being able to compere the final night of Leicester Stands Up. Was nervous as hell before the gig as we had some important timing things to consider - Anthony getting back so we could give the Ale Wagon's management presents onstage at the end, for example. But my worries were ill-placed as we went ahead and had a storming night - everyone had a great gig, I had a tremendous amount of fun and then we all had curry afterwards, once the punters had gone home. I arrived home at 4am. Marvellous.

Sunday February 19th - Phoenix Arts Centre (main hall), Leicester - 5 minutes, 100ish people

My first ever gig in a theatre. The Comedy Festival people asked me to do this charity gig (For Amnesty International and Leicestershire AIDS support services) and I was most pleased to accept the chance. Went on fourth, on a bill that included my good mate Lee Brace, Jason Manford as compere, Robin Ince, the insane Patrick Monahan, the lovely Sarah Millican and the fantastic Ninia Benjamin. Who wanted to buy my leather bag from me. Really. A tricky experience (very, very quiet audience) but I think I put up a good show of myself, especially as I was the least experienced comic there.

Sunday February 26th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - 15 minutes, 30 people

The first night of the permanent, monthly "Leicester Stands Up" gigs. Basic premise is this: Paid opener (The awesome Matt Reed, who is as ace a bloke offstage as he is on it), then three acts that have come through Anthony King's workshop system doing between 5 to 15 minute open spots (Juliette Sexton, Sangita G and then me doing 15), followed by a paid headliner (the fantastic Danny Buckler). Was a good night, felt a bit sad being away from the Ale Wagon for a whole week! I was worried - the audience had all seen me at least once during the festival, so I did some older and less used jokes - which they loved. I also told some that they'd heard - they laughed again. I mocked everyone in the audience - awesome fun. Bloody great gig.

Sunday March 5th - Old Wine Vaults, Holywell, North Wales - 15 minutes, 50 people

Strange gig. Free to get in - and when I walked into the pub it was like a stranger walking into a the saloon in a western. I thought I was going to die, but ended up being good fun. Compere was Pam... something, forgive my memory. But she was nice. Wore a very short skirt. Opening act was the very good Dougie Dunlop, but sadly I had buggered off before the headliner - Pierre Hollins. Was nice to meet audience member Leigh Jones, who will hopefully be a comedian himself one day. (Note: He now is.)

Tuesday March 7th - The Maze, Forest Tavern, Nottingham - 10 minutes + 1 minute "encore", 30 people

Another gong show - I've started to view these as a social experience more than anything else. Nearly got into a fight with two audience members, gleefully offended everyone and wore off the ring rust - was my first non-Leicester gig in a while. Got to the final again, but was beaten by debutant Daniel Rigby. Brother of Eleanor. Best part was getting to see top chums Andy Kind and Lou Chawner, as well as enjoying the company of Andy White, Chris Tavner, Mahinder Sunairer, Will Claringbold and Elliott Bower - all of whom were in attendance.

Friday March 10th - Laughing Horse New Act Quarter Final, Wimbledon - 5 minutes, 100 people (WINNER)

I WON! SOMEHOW! I really didn't expect to even go through, although I would have been very annoyed with myself if I didn't do so. Went onto stage feeling unprepared, but something strange surged through me as I got my first laugh and from that point onwards I was in the zone after what felt like a shaky start. Still didn't think I'd won until I heard my name, was so expecting to NOT win. Bloody pleased with myself though.

Saturday March 11th - Throgmorton Comedy Club, The Royal Bell, Bromley - 15 minutes, 30 people

Went to watch City beat Luton before this gig - my football buzz was nearly killed completely dead by the pub full of Millwall fans that I wandered into. More worryingly, this was the location for the evening's gig. Bugger. Upstairs was a much more pleasant affair, a very nice (if a little quiet) crowd that enjoyed Erich McElroy, then me, then the wonderful Sol Bernstein. All compered by Paddy Bramwells. I was taken aback by how nice Erich, Paddy and Sol all were to me - all top chaps.

Thursday March 16th - The Limelight, Crewe - 10 minutes, 100 people

10 minute open spot - with me actually opening the bill. Went on before the legend that is Kev Bland, with Alfie Joey headlining and Tim Craven in the middle spot. A lovely gig, even though I was scared shitless to go on first. Had fun, got good laughs and got to be worried about Kev - who is in my Laughing Horse semi.

Friday March 24th - Village Hotel and Leisure Club, Bury - 15 minutes, 100 people

First gig for a week. Went on in the middle, after Zoe Lyons and before Chris Cairns. Compere was the very lovely and extrememly funny Gary Delaney, who gave me a lot of his time and a good deal of encouragement. A class act.

Sunday March 26th - Lunacy, The Old Post Office, Shrewsbury - 15 minutes, 60 people

The aforementioned Kev Bland runs and comperes this gig, and it's a tightly run ship. Also in attendance to watch was the not racist genius that is Andy Kind. On the bill was Martin Plant, Murray James, the Mighty Swob and Paul Karensa. I couldn't stick around to watch Paul, but the audience (slightly heckly, but good natured) enjoyed the other acts, who were excellent. I did ok, was very nervous as it's a mate's gig. Didn't want to fuck up. A special note goes to the fantastic Murray James, who in only his tenth gig scared the bejesus out of the more established acts. He's one to watch.

Monday March 27th - Other Side Comedy, Scarborough - 15 minutes, 200 people

Oh, I do like to be beside the seaside. My first ever paid opening spot. For the great man that is Jon Reed. My admiration for Jon has increased even more after this gig - as to warm up a slightly quiet crowd, he stripped to his underwear before introducing me. When I was done, I looked over to see a stark naked Jon walking back onstage, just a sock hiding his modesty. The man is a legend. And a great gig setup up there too - was a full room, and well worth the trip up. Was hard to open the gig but it went really well. The journey home was a nightmare, mind - I hate Hull. Once you go in, you can't get out!

Saturday April 1st - The Hub, Telford (Mirth Control) - 15 minutes, 100 people

One of the nicest lineups I've been on, with Barry Dodds, Adam Ethan Crow and MC Ryan Gough all brimming with lovliness. Went ok, the only notable point being the woman heckling me who was older than my mum.

Thursday April 6th - Village Hotel, Walsall (Mirth Control) - 15 minutes, 120 people

An odd gig, in that it was seemingly delayed forever (was told to be there for 8, it started at 9.30) and that I was slightly distracted by the awesome Middlesbrough vs Basle UEFA cup game. That said, was a decent enough gig, and I got to meet MC Rufus Hound and opening act James Sherwood, as well as talking football with the lovely Dougie Dunlop.

Sunday April 9th - Co-Op Royal Regency Rooms, , Ilkeston (Mirth Control) - 20 minutes, 100 people

Didn't mean to do 20, but ended up doing so as I was having fun. First time out for this new gig, and I shared the bill with MC Cole Parker, Christian Reilly and Mitch Benn. Came up with a fantastic heckle comeback which mentioned legendary Hanna Barbera cartoon "Catch the Pigeon". That made me chuckle a lot.

Saturday April 15th - The Watershed, Wimbledon - LAUGHING HORSE NEW ACT SEMI FINAL - 6 minutes, 100 people

My intention with this gig was to just get through it as best as I could, as I wasn't expecting to go through. I was happy to just be this far in - however I stormed it and came second on the night. Am now just waiting to see if I've made it to the final... fingers crossed! Wendy Reed won, with Diane Morgan in third place. I was impressed by Robert White and the lovely Ashley Frieze, plus my good mate Kev Bland had a good one.

(EDIT: I'm in the final. Woo - bleeding - hoo! Most chuffed, if shocked)

Monday April 17th - Hilarity House, Kidderminster - 20 minutes, 60 people

One of my favourite gigs for the great Zak Turner. Was good to see Zak at his crazy best, along with great acts in Ryan Gough, Simon Dunn, Kevin Brevity and headliner Ashley Frieze - who I was very glad I stuck around and watched. A man spat his drink out during my set, which Ashley very kindly recorded for posterity. Top chap.

Tuesday April 18th - Cheeky Monkey Comedy Club, Birmingham - 15 minutes, 100 people

A new act night run by Martin Mullaney of Comedy CV fame. A nice room - I had the challenge of going on last, which is still quite new to me. As a couple of acts had dropped out I got chance to pick on the audience and do a little longer than 10 minutes. Was good fun, lots of very good new acts on the bill - Spiky Mike, Wes Packer, Aaron Rice, John Cooper and myself. Audience seemed to have a great time. MC was Tom Binns.

Sunday April 22nd - The Ale Wagon CHARITY NIGHT, Leicester - MC, 60 people

Great fun, this. 12 acts from Leicester (plus special guest pros Anthony King and Jarred Christmas) all doing five minutes to raise money for LOROS. And raise money we did - about £650 all in. We even sang a song at the end, and did a gag tag which was worth seeing just to see Anthony - always a model pro - crack up whilst telling a gag. As always, top fun and I got to have fun with the Ale Wagon audience. Credit to the Ale Wagon, my good mate Big D and Anthony for putting the gig on.

Thursday April 27th - The Shire Hall, Howden, Yorkshire - 15 minutes, 70 people

This gig is a new venture by Ian Smith - at 17 the youngest promoter I've met yet. I tell you though - he's a top lad and certainly knows how to treat his acts. A round of applause for the young man, I say. Whether he promotes or performs I wish him all the best. Gig was odd - I think live comedy is new to Howden but the audience seemed content enough, if a little quiet. If Ian keeps up his hard work though, that place will grow and grow. Headliner was Greg Cook (always nice to see him) with MC Spiky Mike, opener Dave Twentyman and open spot Dave Haworth.

Friday April 28th - Buzz Comedy, De Bees Music Bar, Winsford, Cheshire - 25 minutes, 50 people

I have never been heckled as much in my entire career thus far as I was in this one gig - and strangely, it wasn't too bad to go through. The legend that is Agraman gave me this opening 20 minute spot and I possibly should have worn a bulletproof vest - but the audience seemed to appreciate my efforts. Actually felt like I'd earned my comedy stripes with this one - hard work, yet rewarding. Headliner was John Scott, middle act my mate Kev Bland and compere the excellent Ray Peacock.

Monday May 1st - Other Side Comedy, Scunthorpe - 20 minutes, 140 people

I adore going up North to do gigs for Jon Reed and this was another lovely one. Dan Evans and Pierre Hollins were the other acts on the bill, with little me opening to a friendly crowd. Job is ace, one of the best promoters I know and a lovely bloke to boot who keeps supporting my career. Cheers Jon!

Thursday May 4th - Jesters, Bristol - 20 minutes, 80 people

I met Sally-Anne Hayward during the Leicester Comedy Festival and she was a quality guest compere for Leicester Stands Up. She comperes this gig every week, and an open spot is allowed down to do a slot. I went on after Alistair Barrie and did my thing - overran slightly but was having fun with a very pissed crowd (and the fact that Sally didn't kill me says it was ok). Now to keep my fingers crossed I get invited back...

Saturday May 6th - Havin' a Giraffe, Harrow - 20 minutes, 35 people

Another promoter that gets a big tick in the "Top bloke, nice to Jim and a good promoter to boot" box is Maff Brown, promoter of the Outside the Box and Havin' A Giraffe gigs. I headlined this one to a pissed and slightly quiet crowd, felt it went ok. Maff is a quality compere too, and the other acts - all of whom did sterling work, especially in light of the slightly odd crowd - were Richard Brophy, fellow Laughing Horse finalist Wendy Reed, my old mate John Smith (who had the best fucked up line ever), the excellent Andrew Watts and Caroline Mabey.

Sunday May 7th - Leicester Stands Up, Leicester - Compere, 50 people

Another instalment of LSU with me as compere - this time however, I did some new stuff, some topical gags and some older jokes that haven't seen daylight for a while. Why? Because I need to try more new stuff and also the audience of regulars are sick of the sight of me... went pretty well though. Other acts were James Cook (filling in at the last minute and doing great), Ishi Khan Jackson, Malc Jones, Gary Mawby (who debuted some excellent new stuff) and the maverick, crazy genius that is Tom Stade headlining.

Monday May 8th - The Reckless Moment, Leamington Spa - 15 minutes, 60 people

Tiny little basement bar with hordes of students crowbarred in until the room bulges at the seams. Great gig to do, lots of acts trying new stuff or just being generally new. I did a little bit of new stuff but not much - decided to hone the act as best as possible as it's my last gig pre LH final. Compere Tom Hughes is great, Owen Niblock made me laugh a lot and my mate Gary Mawby came along to do 10 and did well.

Sunday May 14th - LAUGHING HORSE NEW ACT COMPETITION FINAL - Wimbledon - 7 minutes, 150 people

Well, the day before my holiday I had the small matter of being in part of the final of this prestigious competition. I think I was one of the newest acts there, and although I did OK I didn't have my best gig. That said, after a slow start I got some very good laughs indeed and everyone who was part of the show was ace. Carl Donnelly won it, with Neil Price in second and Tomi Walamies third. Because of this gig, I managed to get myself reviewed on Chortle - click here to read what they had to say. I think it's a fair and good review. And Frank Skinner was there. Awesome.

Sunday May 28th - Sheffield University, Sheffield - 10 minutes, 200 people

Wasn't due to have a gig on this fine evening, but my good friend Anthony King was in need of transportation and therefore found me a 10 minute spot alongside himself and Danny Deegan, with Mike Wilkinson as compere. All were excellent. I did the gig with chronic jetlag but survived it, even if my bad-taste jokes offended some of the poor students. Bless 'em! Some nice laughs, and was good to do a better gig in the presence of Toby Foster. Now fingers crossed I can wangle a Lescar booking...

Thursday June 1st - Lunacy Comedy, Newcastle Under Lyme - 15 minutes, 50 people

My best mate in comedy Andy Kind presented this marvellous show. Good fun all round, even if I did feel a little rusty. I may well have offended every Christian in the room asides from the erstwhile Mr Kind, who tolerates my blasphemy as much as possible. He'll have to, especially in Edinburgh next year.

Sunday June 4th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Rutland Street, Leicester - 10 minutes, 50 people

As a couple of open spots dropped out I stepped in and tested 10 minutes of new stuff. Was more nervous doing that than I have been at any gig recently.

Tuesday June 13th - LSU New Acts Showcase, The Ale Wagon, Rutland St, Leicester - MC, 60 people

As a graduate of Anthony King's workshops myself, it was an honour to be able to present this year's workshop. Performing on the night, in order: Tony Brandrick, Hugh Evans, Johnny Holland, Jo Bromley, Paul W Bennett, Tim Gettings, James Worden, David Howatt and Paul Bacon. All great.

Wednesday June 14th - LSU New Acts Showcase, The Ale Wagon, Rutland St, Leicester - MC, 60 people

As above - same acts, another sell-out. This time more notable for my performance as I insisted on teaching everyone my shit impressions (all one syllable: Chewbacca, Yoda, Ernie (from Sesame Street) and my favourite - David Bowie.) and for me losing it with rude audience members who left and getting a fantastic reception for doing so. I like ranting.

Wednesday June 21st - Sheffield - 15 minutes, 20 people

Embarassing, but I've forgotten the name of this gig. Was fun though, if a bit quiet thanks to the World Cup. On a bill with Matt Hollins and Juliet Meyers.

Friday July 7th - Lunacy Altrincham - 20 minutes, 35 people

Awesome. My mate Andy Kind knows how to put on a show. First gig in a new Lunacy venue in Altrincham. I was first act on after Andy's marvellous compering, and had a blast. Also on the bill were Mark Stephens, Sean Moran and the unbelievably awesome Daliso Chaponda, who had to do an encore. Top quality night.

Wednesday July 26th - LBC Radio Gig, - 20 minutes, 50 people

This gig is ranted about at extra length here...

Thursday July 27th - Quality Hotel, Wolverhampton - 25 minutes, 100 people

My second time at the ironically titled Quality Hotel. Oh, I'm kidding. A nice if rowdy gig is now presided over by the genius that is James Cook. He was nice enough to book me and then sent me on first in front of a hen party and a 40th birthday shindig. The hens were the better behaved. Was hard work, but rewarding in the end. James Dowdeswell headlined, with Lou Chawner also appearing.

Sunday August 6th - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Rutland St, Leicester - MC, 30 people

Was busy playing with my daughter at her birthday party when I got the call to do this gig, deputising for Anthony King. Anthony still appeared in the middle of the gig, testing out new stuff and reusing old stuff - all of it brilliant, the bastard. Zak Turner opened, David Howat was the very good open spot and Martin Bigpig brought the house down as headliner.

Monday August 7th - Lunacy, Kidderminster - MC, 30 people

One of my favourite gigs is under new ownership, moving from one mate (Zak Turner) to another (Andy Kind). Andy had to perform at a Salvation Army gig for kids (no, really) so I compered and had the most fun I've had in ages. Sam Avery opened and was top notch, Tony Brandrick had a quality open spot (and helped with the door, bless him), Steph Davies was great and Gary Delaney achieved what only Jason Byrne, Eddie Izzard and Frank Skinner have done to me before: make me laugh so much it hurts.

Saturday August 12th - Summer Sundae, De Montfort Hall / Victoria Park, Leicester - 10 minutes, 250 people

Wow, how much fun was this? Awesome to perform at. The Cabaret Tent was a new development for this year's festival, and I was one of only two non-pro acts booked for the weekend (the other being the excellent Sam Avery, who spent the evening partying with my work mates. Cool.). A circus style tent with a nice stage, good acoustics and an attentive crowd. I followed the lovely Daliso Chaponda and our section was compered by Howard Read, who maid me laugh till I cried with the word "Trill". Also got to see Jason Manford, Earl Okin, Caimh McDonnell and my wee mate Leigh Jones, who wasn't performing but merely there being all young and hippy-esque.

Tuesday August 22nd - XS Malarkey, Manchester - 10 minutes, 200 people

Oh my lord, what a great night. Performing with Big D, Lou Chawner, Bob Kobe, headliner Anthony King and wonderful compere Justin Moorhouse would be good enough, but all day I'd been telling myself that I really needed a cracking gig to get things back on track with so few gigs in the offing during the summer. For once, my stupid brain ACTUALLY LISTENED, and I had what I would class as one of my five best gigs ever, even when limited to just ten minutes. Started nervously as all hell but somehow turned it round and had an absolute blast. XS is a legendary club and I can see why - lovely crowd, tons of other comics in the audience. Hoping to go back again soon, and I can't wait.

Sunday September 3rd - Leicester Stands Up, The Ale Wagon, Leicester - MC, 15 people

Not the busiest night at the Ale Wagon but I did get to see my mate Wes Packer (recent winner of the So You Think You're Funny contest) and the very funny Noel James, who is mad. Plus open spots from the very tall Stu Wilde, Ishi Khan Jackson, Hugh Evans and Jono Dilley.

Monday September 11th - The Stand, Edinburgh - 8 minutes, 100 people

Travelled to Scotland with top comedy mates Andy Kind and Damion Larkin, and then found upon arrival in Edinburgh that the lovely Sarah Millican, Phil Buckley and John Newton were all also there. Brilliant. Bit of a try-out gig but had a blast - despite going on second I think I knocked it out the park, proverbially speaking. Then had to sleep on the hotel floor underneath a wafer thin blanket. And I forgot to have a deep fried mars bar, which was most disappointing.

Tuesday September 12th - The Stand, Glasgow - 8 minutes, 50 people

Day two of the Scotland excursion - with the same bunch of English chaps wandering down the M8 to Glasgow. Slightly quieter than the previous night but was excellently compered by Steven Dick - who is a tremendous talent and has certainly made me laugh more than any compere has in ages. Had to follow Andy Kind on this occasion and that was a chellenge as they loved his clean, energetic act. I'm lethargic and filthy. Yet after a slow start had another good one. A successful trip - even if I didn't get home till 5am on Wednesday morning.

Thursday September 14th - Comedy Kav, Mosely, Birmingham - 20 minutes, 40 people

James Cook is a blinding compere so it's always a pleasure to be on the same bill as him. Odd night with a strange, very staring crowd - James expertly told me to "not mention them staring". So I didn't - instead I was as evil as could be and got some laughs in odd places. I think I did my job right - livened them up a tad prior to the sublime headliner that was Silky. Also performing were Ishi Khan Jackson and Anna Keirle.

Monday October 2nd - Comedy Bar, Savannah Cafe Bar, Winchester - 20 minutes, 20 people

First gig I've done for Chris Mayo, nice chap. Seriously young, mind. Went on first, eager to escape - but was quite good fun, all told. Small audience was lively enough. Compere was Ashley Frieze, with Henning Wehn headlining, and Matt Rudge and another dude whose name escapes me also taking part.

Tuesday October 10th - Other Side, Grimsby - 10 minutes, 130 people

I love Jon Reed gigs. Not only did I manage to eat the best fish and chips in the world before the gig AND get to hang out with my mate Damion Larkin, but I also had a cracking little gig in front of a good crowd and got some nice compliments from headliner Ian Cognito.

Friday October 13th - Knuts Club, Peterborough - 20 minutes, 30 people

This was one of those gigs that I was dreading before I got onstage - and then ended up enjoying a ridiculous amount. Odd crowd - one 60 year old woman was cracking onto me after I'd abused her verbally for 20 minutes. Fun though - plus travelled to the gig with Andy Kind AND got to see Stu Wilde and Owen Niblock there too. Awesome.

Sunday October 15th - Giggling Badger, Sketchley Grange, Hinckley - MC, 160 people

Ok, this is my gig - co-promoted with my Dad. Was terrified about how it would pan out - but it ended up being a dream. I think I did a good job as MC, and the audience loved Rob and Skatz, Barry Dodds and Jason Manford. Bloody great fun, and we'll be doing it again every month. I do not envy promoters who have to run more than one show - it's hard work. That said, I was relaxed enough to sing onstage and generally dick about. One of the best nights of my career, fun-wise.

Tuesday October 17th - Other Side, Doncaster - 10 minutes, 100 people

Another Jon Reed gig, another fun time to be had. This time I was nervous as all hell as a lot of work colleagues were in the audience, watching me for the first time. The nerves transformed themselves into a performance that made me look like a nutter - and I mean that in a good way. A really nice gig. Plus headliner Rob Rouse made me laugh ridiculously hard. The man is a genius.

Thursday October 19th - Havin' a Giraffe, Kingston - 20 minutes, 30 people

And... back down to Earth. Not the worst performance ever, but an odd crowd of too-well behaved first year students. I'm grateful to the slightly older (late 20s) couple who did at least enjoy me. Why do students make tutting noises when offended? I'm at a loss to that. After all, I can tell my whole set in front of pensioners and they love it. Most odd. Maybe they're scared of me. That said, was good to see Maff Brown (one of the best comperes about) and John Smith (one of my favourite acts, period).

Friday October 20th - Comedy Bar, Totton (nr Southampton) - MC, 40 people

I love being compere. Joseph Wilson, Del Strain, Paul Redwood and Pete Firman made up the bill, and I like to think I did a bang-on job. Odd but lovely venue, with an enthusiastic if small crowd.

Sunday October 22nd - Bottle Rocket, Firefly, Leicester - 15 minutes, 50 people

Aaaiieee. Not fun. Was quite excited when I saw the crowd, pretty good for a Sunday night - but they universally hated nearly everything I did. Hard work - although everyone found it tough. Braving the elements were the fantastic Dan Atkinson, plus Maff Brown and Charlie Pickering.

Wednesday October 25th - Royal Oak, Gloucester - 20 minutes, 120 people

Odd pub gig - but ended up being fun when it could have been as much joy as scraping my fingernails down a blackboard. First gig for the venue that was expertly compered by the very patient Nik Hill. I went on third after Sally-Anne Hayward, Lovdev Barpaga and prior to Headliner Nick Page. Not the most attentive of audiences but those who wanted to listen seemed to enjoy it - and I had a surprising amount of people shaking my hand and saying kind words at the end. Most odd. Yet perversely fun.

Thursday November 2nd - Funny Firm, Stourbridge - 10 minutes, 80 people

Free curry! Best gig idea ever. Travelled to the show with Rob and Skatz, and was nice to see Dan Smith again. Great compere. Odd crowd - some people really up for it, some scared to death. Some quite close to death, come to think of it - as old as the hills, bless 'em.

Friday November 3rd - Jesters, Bristol - 10 minutes, 150 people

My first gig of two at Jesters - was slightly tricky as the entire audience was booked for a corporate jaunt and I had to wait extra long before going onstage. Set started well but tailed off a bit - plus I had to follow Russell Howard, who was amazing.

Saturday November 4th - Jesters, Bristol - 10 minutes, 200 people

This is more like it! Awesome gig. A ton of pissed West Country folk who love comedy. Easily in one of my top 5 gigs ever. Amazing to do.

Tuesday November 7th - Midlands Stands Up, Ale Wagon, Leicester - MC, 60 people

Great fun. Seems strange going from being in competitions to hosting them. Every act on the bill did incredibly well, so a great night's entertainment was had by all. Lovely.

Sunday November 12th - Giggling Badger, Sketchley Grange, Hinckley - MC, 120 people

My gig, so again I'm biased - but I think the people of Hinckley had a great night courtesy of Sarah Millican, Daliso Chaponda and Anthony King. Some slight issues with the venue might lead us to switching where we do it for January, we'll see - but artistically it was a triumph, I say.

Sunday November 19th - Comedy Cavern, Bath - 15 minutes, 40 people

There's a great importance in comedy on being seen by the right people. This gig was me trying desperately to try and catch the attention of Geoff Whiting, and I hope that I succeeded. Nice gig, and there was a nice review of me on the venue website that I've since misplaced. They liked my Pussycat Dolls gag, which is good because with the exception of Chortle, the Laughing Horse final audience and three of my mates, a lot of people hate it. Issy Suttie opened, with Gareth Richards and myself in the middle, with Geoff as compere. Nice night, enjoyed myself.

Wednesday November 22nd - Ship of Fools, Leicester - 20 minutes, 30 people

I've done this gig SO many times now... was fun once again, with my mate Damion Larkin climbing into a cupboard at one point. Also, I nearly destroyed the venue by tripping over the mic cable on my way offstage. Also on were Phil Ellis, Gonzo Kane, Marc Lucero and compere Alan Seaman.

Friday November 24th - Portland Arms, Cambridge - MC + Set (It's a long story), 80 people

Holy crap, this has become - even more so in hindsight - my favourite gig of my career thus far. From the minute I walked onstage as MC everything was just lovely. Audience were chatty when I was on and quiet for the acts, the room had a lovely feel to it and literally everything was getting a great reaction. I was having a great time. Opening act was Mark Allen, middle spots were Hannah Dunleavy (on her birthday) and Rich Wilson and headliner was scheduled to be Russell Howard. By 11pm, Russell hadn't arrived. Frantic calls were made. Russell is a nice chap so we were concerned as to his whereabouts (have since learned it was merely a booking glitch). Promoter was worried the audience would leave. So... we all went on again. I went back onstage and did a 15 minute set of stuff I haven't used in ages, Hannah and Rich went back on to a tremendous response and the excellent Mark Allen went on and headlined a gig he had opened. The audience even asked for more, leading me to say one of the best off the cuff responses I've ever used to end the show: "Fuck off home, the lot of you. I've got nothing left. I've been ripping off Jim Davidson gags for the last half an hour. Go on, sod off and leave me alone". Excellent.

Sunday November 26th - Comedy Bar, Nuffield Theatre, Southampton - 20 minutes, 100 people

Another Chris Mayo gig, on before headliner Andrew Lawrence and following James Mullinger and Matthew Crosby. Enjoyable gig, if a little calmer than the previous Friday! Didn't feel up for it at all pre-show but the audience was nice enough and they laughed along with me as they saw my obvious joy in pulling an old joke out of the bag to ad-lib some audience banter. Ace.

Thursday November 30th- Memory Lane Inn, Heanor - MC, 50 people

A little bit of MC work to help out a pub I worked in once, years ago. Odd night, the hardest looking audience I have ever seen. Heard one lad say the following before the gig: "I don't think I'll get sent down for it, I only twatted him the once". Obviously, I had to pick on him as soon as I walked onstage. Not a comedy audience but up for banter and once I'd pointed out that hard bloke was drinking Rose Wine, it became quite nice. I also cut up lines of icing sugar on a mirror and gave it to audience members, and got a man to bear his arse onstage. Odd night...

Friday December 8th - LOROS Charity Show, Ale Wagon, Leicester - MC, 30 people

Ah, the Ale Wagon once more. Was MC as well as a team member on a news quiz. A good night, although it was a long one - was there until what seemed like Dawn! The news quiz was great fun and gave us all (Anthony King, Gary Mawby, Rick Giddings and Stu Wilde) chance to arse about. Sat next to a giant Christmas Tree.

Sunday December 17th - Laughter Lines, Whitchurch - 20 minutes, 60 people

A gig run by the lovely Kev Bland, and a fun night all round. Followed Gonzo Kane and went on before headliner Mike Wilkinson. His daughter is called Amelia too, which rocks. Last gig before Christmas and it went pretty well.

Friday December 29th - Comedy at the Cottage, Redhill - 10minutes, 50 people

Run by Sajeela Kershi, this gig is a hidden gem. Really enthusiastic audiences are treated to a packed show (7 acts, I believe, including excellent headliner Paul Karensa) and this may be a sleeper nomination for the most fun I've had at a gig in 2006. If I actually gave out such awards, of course... Did my set without a mic and found it a most liberating experience. Apparently, I have arms!

Saturday December 30th - The Marquis of Queensbury, South Wigston - MC, 70 people

What a way to end 2006. Punch-ups, hecklers exposing their ample breasts and the scariest pub I have EVER walked into. Ever. Oddly fun - in the same way I imagine the chaps on Jackass have fun...

2005

Tuesday June 7th 2005 - Valkyries, Loughborough - 10 mins, 25 people

My first ever gig. To explain: I attended a comedy workshop on Tuesday nights for much of the earlier part of the year. Our first gig was scheduled to be our workshop showcase, but I entered the "So You Think You're Funny" competition to help make up the numbers. Therefore, we needed a gig to help get us used to the crowd, and this was it. For my first ever gig, this went remarkably well - I got a lot of big laughs and enjoyed the whole experience. Even if I was shitting myself. Other performers that night were Gary Mawby, Jamie Smart, Phil Mansfield, Spiky Mike, Dominic Elliot Spencer, Gary Bell, Jim Shields and the man who would soon seemingly compere at every gig I would do, Rick Giddings.

Thursday June 9th 2005 - Just The Tonic, Nottingham - 10 mins, 100 people

A heat for "So You Think You're Funny". Went well, but in retrospect I probably should have waited to enter such a competition. The rules state that you cannot enter twice and in 2006 I certainly would have been in with a bigger chance. Still, nearly every gag got a laugh and it was incredibly helpful to talk to other comics and experience a large crowd. The two qualifiers from the heat were Gary Bell and the excellent Lou Chawner, although sadly neither qualified for the finals.

Tuesday June 21st 2005 - The Looking Glass, Leicester - 15 mins, 40 people

What should have been my first ever gig ended up being my third. Our workshop showcase, slightly blighted by the fucking annoying pissed up wankettes on the front table, but most people dealt well with them. There's a review of the gig here. A great night, witnessed by a fair few work colleagues who will never see me in the same light again. Although I'm more polished now, there's footage of this gig available if anyone would like to see it. Just email me. Full running order was (and we missed Charlotte Martin, fellow graduate who was away) Malc Jones, Andrew Geeson, Sangita G, Phil Mansfield, Rachel Brown, Dan Fordham, Ellie Koumparos, Jamie Smart and me. Compere was, you guessed, Rick Giddings.

Sunday June 26th 2005 - Oakham Festival, Oakham - 15 mins, 40 people

One of my favourite gigs. Travelled to it with Ellie Koumparos who performed with myself, Phil Mansfield, Rick Giddings and Malc Jones. Compere was a Billy Connolly impersonator who was a bloody nice bloke. The reason I enjoyed this so much was that it was outside on a glorious evening, and that when we arrived the audience looked like the sort of people I wouldn't get on with. Middle class country folk with way more cash than me. They ended up being lovely, they laughed their arses off and I had my first ever experience of being praised by people - well, people that weren't mates or related to me in some way. Great evening.

Tuesday July 5th - Valkyries, Loughborough - 10 mins, 10 people

Horrible. I learned a lesson here: Never presume that everything will be easy just because previous gigs went ok. An empty bar, a headache and cockiness on my part made me the worst opening act in the history of comedy. I know that my timing was still there and that but it was a very important wake up call for me, one of the most meaningful lessons I've learned so far. Always presume the worst. Be a pessimist. And work hard. Ever since this gig, I do.

Friday July 8th - Summer Raspberry, De Montfort Hall, Leicester - 15 mins, 150-200 people

Another favourite, and if anyone is interested I have an MP3 recording of this gig. Again, email me if you're a promoter that wants impressing - because for this gig, I was on fire. A great, large crowd that laughed at everything. I even got asked for my autograph afterwards, which was bizarre. Myself, Sangita G, Big D, Dan Fordham and the fantastic Lee Brace all supported the unbelievably hilarious Jason Byrne, who is the funniest man I have ever seen in my life. Ever. There was a preview to this gig that mentioned me, and you can read it here.

Wednesday July 20th - The Looking Glass, Leicester - 15 mins, 40 people

Not a great night, all told. A very quiet crowd (which consisted of a lot of my work colleagues) created a strange atmosphere which led to me fearing to do some of my nastier gags. Threw me a bit, that one. Still, new gags worked out ok and people did seem to smile - if not laugh out loud like the first Looking Glass / Ship Of Fools showcase that we did. This was an extra gig as the first one sold out. Same cast as before, except substitute Phil Mansfield for Charlotte Martin as she was back for this one.

Friday July 22nd - Carphone Warehouse Head Office, London - 15 mins, 20 people

Now, this gig was put on by the great Lee Brace. Top man. It was intended as a charity gig for the victims of the London bombings, but it went a little wrong. See, CW gave free beer to all of their employees (hundreds of them) and by the time Richard Holmes got on stage, they had no interest in the comedy as they were too pissed. So, we gathered up the few hardy souls who wanted to watch and we did a gig in a quiet room, stood on a table, without a mic. And you know what? It ended up being a whole lot of fun. Thanks to Lee for giving me the gig, and thanks to Richard and Rick Giddings for their company and entertainment on the trip down.

Sunday September 4th - Royal Hotel, Ashby de la Zouch, Leicestershire - 10 mins, 70 people

My first gig in ages (thanks to various things and the Edinburgh festival). Organised for charity by Richard Holmes, this was his first foray into promoting and it went incredibly well - a sellout and a great bill (excluding myself) with Nick Doody, Josh Howie, Mark Charlton, Matt Hollins and MC Rick Giddings. I'll admit to being a bit rusty and not 100% at my best, but still got a lot of laughs. I do have a problem with ambition, in that I constantly want to be as good as acts who have been around for a lot longer than me - but in the cold light of day this was a great gig for the audience and a good gig for me - even if straight afterwards I was a little deflated.

Tuesday September 6th - Valkyries, Loughborough - 20 mins, 15 people

A glorious clusterfuck carcrash of a gig. Pissed up 40 year old nurses, their surly blokes, quiet people at the back taking a while to get my jokes then laughing a lot, and the debut of my favourite terrible joke. Rick Giddings has threatened to kill me if I ever tell it again. Was onstage for an eternity because I enduring four very pissed people at the front. I think I won the fight on points.

Saturday September 17th - A Marquee, Broughton Astley, Leicestershire - 20 mins, 60 people

Never mentioned this one in the upcoming section because it was a private gig, at a 40th birthday party full of complete strangers (I won't even give you the long story of how this gig came about, it's bizarre). In a marquee, so I could do my one marquee joke. The birthday boy was called Dave Dingley (comedy gold) and he supports Coventry City (ditto). I performed my bit before Lee Brace, and star compere (stepping in to do that job at late notice, was just scheduled to peform) was Richard Holmes, who also provided his PA. Top stuff. Was great fun to do.

Wednesday September 21st - The Coach and Horses, Markfield, Leicestershire - 5 mins, 20 people

A gig that I was asked to do by Geoff Rowe (organiser of the Leicester Comedy Festival), and as always I'm grateful for the chance. This gig was organised by Everards to highlight the Everards Fringe and try to get their landlords involved. I was asked to do 5 minutes fairly late on, having expected to do ten so had to a little chopping and changing, but it still seemed to go well and it was nice to meet Darrell Martin, Dave Dynamite, Stephen Carlin, Dan Nightingale and Mick Ferry - all of whom were very nice to me and offered good advice. Which I need in abundance. Always great to learn from the good and established, I say.

Wednesday September 28th - The Princess Charlotte, Leicester - 5 mins, 35 people

Oh, SO much fun. Pissed up, lairy crowd - in a venue that I used to go and watch up and coming rock bands in my callow youth. The best gig I've had for a while, and the first gig I've done where I've performed a rehearsed 5 minute set - albeit with a lot of ad-libbing to deal with the especially pissed bloke at the front. I was buzzing after this one. Plus, met Simon Douglass. Top bloke. I had to leave before the end which was a shame, lots of promising acts on.

Thursday September 29th - Century Theatre, Coalville, Leicestershire - 15 minutes, 7 people (2 paid)

I love Alan Seaman and his Ship of Fools organisation. They gave my comedy career the kick start it needed, and I will happily admit that I will walk over hot coals if Alan asked. I'm grateful like that. It sucks that such a nice bloke had to put on a gig where nobody bothered turning up - it seems that Coalville isn't ready for comedy. And I may not be the greatest, but the other acts rule all - Alan himself, Mark Charlton, Matt Hollins and Jim Shields. I say boo to Coalville. Plus - this ranks as the first time my fairly filthy act has offended anyone. And not because I swore or told rude gags, but because I censored myself and got accused of being ageist by the 60+ aged women I sought to protect. I can't win...

Tuesday October 4th - Valkyries, Loughborough, Leicestershire - No-one!

I was looking forward to this, my first gig as a compere - and there wasn't enough acts (nor an audience) so it was cancelled. Boo and hiss.

Wednesday October 5th - The Varsity, Wolverhampton - 15 minutes, 8 people (would have been 12, but they fucked off)

Gig for Dave Powner - nice bloke, top compere. Appeared along with Ellie Koumparos, Nick Pettigrew, Tony Cowards and Andy Kind - all of whom were very, very funny and wonderful company. I do like doing this comedy stuff. Wasn't the biggest crowd but they were friendly enough AND I witnessed one of the funniest things EVER - one of the audience members running to the loo and falling over. You had to be there, but I laughed so much I gave myself a hernia. Plus, I won the raffle. Get in.

Wednesday October 19th - Funny Moons, Worcester - 15 minutes (should have been 10), 30 people

An open spot provided for me by the fantastic Mahinder Suniara, and in a lovely little venue (if a fucker to find when you're already late!). Well worth the 3 and a half hour journey there, how I love the British Motorway Network. Just went ludicrously well, everything seemed to slot into place. I even got laughs out of a ringtone on my phone. Blinding night. Also met Nik Hill, who acted as a superb stand-in compere with Mahinder stuck in traffic, the bloody funny Okse, and Shazia Mirza (who was very nice, but I had to bugger off before I could watch her. Sorry Shazia!).

Friday October 21st - Melton Theatre, Melton Mowbray - 10 minutes, 25 people

Less fun than the above gig, but still an important part of my learning curve. A very quiet, sober crowd is what met me when I stepped onto the stage at this Spikey Mike gig. Bit of a comedown, but they seemed to warm up a little towards the end, even if I was rushing a tad. Also performing were Zak Turner (who is great), Elliott Bower, Rick Keisewetter, Jared Goodhead and Bill Bruce. A lively crowd by the end, so a good night for the punters (if not so good for me).

Monday October 24th - Roehampton University, Roehampton - 15 minutes, 70 people (well, students)

FIVE FUCKING HOURS IN A CAR! Jesus. Not an awful gig, but I wasn't in the best of moods by the time I got there. Starving, tired, thirsty and in need of a cuddle... I went on stage and realised that some of my jokes actually go over the head of students. BECAUSE I'M GETTING OLD! I'm scared. Was still fun enough, a decent crowd (if very young) and I got chance to try out some new stuff. Some worked, some didn't. I think I won on points in the battle with the kids in the crowd.

Sunday October 30th - The Hatchet, Bristol - 20 minutes, 35 people

Now, after a couple of quieter gigs in the previous week I wasn't looking forward to this. My Dad, bless him, talked me into doing it by offering to drive me down and keep me company. Charlie Baker went on before me, and he was ace. I was rather worried by the slightly quiet and yet rather mouthy crowd as I went onstage - but then proceeded to have a great time giving the chief heckler so much abuse that I almost felt sorry for him. Almost. Every joke worked, I invented a few more while I stood on stage and I had the most fun I've had in ages. Shame I had to run before the next few acts, but I had work the next day...

Tuesday November 1st - The Brant Hotel, Groby, Leicestershire - 10 minutes, 70 people

A Richard Holmes gig, with me appearing with Kevin Hayes, Kerry Godliman, Matt Hollins and Lee Brace. Richard, Lee and Matt are all mates so this was a pleasure to do. Kevin was very funny and very supportive, and Kerry made me laugh a lot. Went a lot better than I'd hoped - the audience was VERY pissed and I had the added joy of being able to get some very Leicester specific gags in. Fun. Richard puts on a tremendous gig and was called into action as emergency compere on the night, so hats off to him.

Friday November 4th - Pink Party, Gold Suite, Birmingham City FC - 10 minutes, 40 people

A charity gig for Breakthrough Breast Cancer Research. Went along with mates Big D, Gary Mawby, Mark Charlton and the debutant Stu Wilde (who was scarily good for his first gig). Was the coldest room I have ever been in - clearly the owners of BCFC have no desire to actual pay their electricity bill. Some gags worked, some didn't - but I managed to get laughs by abusing the heating system. And money was raised, so huzzah!

Monday November 7th - Charity Gig, LCB Depot, Leicester - 10 minutes (felt like 200), 35 people

A charity gig to help raise money for the victims of the earthquake in Pakistan and India, organised by the fantastic Adnan Ahmed, promoter of the Bottle Rocket comedy club in Leicester. I was surprised to be asked to do it (sharing a bill with Josie Long, Matt Hollins and Jason Manford) and even more surprised (and terrified) to be asked to do a radio interview for it that morning. Scary stuff. I did ok on the radio, but the gig went less well - heavily poorly with a cold, I had to take a drink between each gag and that broke the flow of my routine. Plus, I need to be better at going on first - the crowd was quite polite and I need to be better with quieter crowds. Note to hecklers: If you ever want to truly scare me, don't shout at me. Just stare at me with a slight smile. But anyway, not the best gig for me but Josie, Matt and Jason were great and I can learn a lot from them.

Wednesday November 9th - The Looking Glass, Leicester - 15 minutes, 40 people

Ah, the Ship of Fools. The organisation that gave birth to little me... This gig was double joy as one of my best mates from my real job decided to have his leaving do there, and I told a couple of jokes just for him in what was either an act of being a good mate or being an unprofessional comedian. Also, my boss attended. She knows all my jokes, so she was laughing ahead of each punchline, which was bizarre. Lots of people from my work there, but very few I actually knew - they didn't really go in for the ruder jokes, but I pressed on and had a pretty good one. Also performing was the excellent Lou Chawner (who it was nice to see again, top bloke), Steve Shanyaski and Freaks Outing.

Sunday November 13th - Bottle Rocket Comedy Club, Leicester - 5 minutes, 25 people

Thankfully, this gig was a chance to make it up to the lovely Adnan Ahmed after my terrible performance the previous Monday. Also a chance to practice my five minute set ahead of going to London to do the Comedy Cafe. I still wasn't 100 per cent, but got some decent laughs on a pretty quiet (if very polite) evening. Rob and Skatz headlined and were excellent as ever, and Matt Hollins tried some new stuff and made me incredibly jealous of his extreme talents once again.

Wednesday November 16th - The Comedy Cafe, London - 5 minutes, 150 people

My first "proper" gig in London, along with some of my fellow comedy school graduates from this year and those previous - the excellent Mark Charlton, Gary Mawby and Rachel Brown. I think we all did pretty well - all of my jokes got pretty big laughs, all the more surprising considering that I'm a filthy northerner and I didn't do jokes about public transport. Was good to take our mentor Anthony King along, too - so he could appraise things properly. Most fun I've had in a while, and there was a clear point on stage where I thought to myself... "fucking hell, I'm not bad at this."

Thursday November 24th - Spa Tickles, Leamington Spa - 10 minutes, 40 people

A gig for the lovely Okse, a top bloke if ever there was one. Went on third, made some people laugh and offended a few more - but gauging the reactions that others got, I think I did a decent job. A memorable gig because I heard the single most offensive joke that I've ever heard - from a member of the audience. Plus, I offended an entire netball team. Huzzah!

Friday November 25th - Comedy Store (someone may get sued there), Wolverhampton - 10 minutes, 80 people

The very entertaining Dan Smith contacted me to do this spot at short notice, and I was more than happy to. I must stress that it's not THAT Comedy Store, merely a comedy night in a Wolverhampton Hotel. Lots of pissed people at their Christmas Parties. I sat watching the first act dealing with an uninterested and fairly rowdy crowd, and decided to go on and be as abusive as possible. I was meant to do 15 to start with, then it got cut to five (because we thought it would be hell out there) and in the end I had fun so ended up doing 10. I even got the worst hecklers to shut up, which was my learned skill for the evening. Plus, I made myself laugh: Walking to the stage, there's a DJ. His name is in bright red neon at the front of his booth. I grabbed my mic... and asked him what his name was. Well, it made me laugh.

Monday November 28th - Bishop Grossteste College, Lincoln - MC, 100 people

My good friend (and comedy "teacher") Anthony King put on this gig as a showcase for a workshop he was running in Lincoln, and kindly let me compere it. There are some pictures here, and a local paper article about it over here. Now, it dawned on me as I was about to go on stage that I'd never been taught how to compere. I've seen some very good comperes though, so I went onstage and tried my best to emulate them. I was most worried about getting the crowd excited, as I'm not exactly Mr Livewire onstage. But it went superbly well - I had a great time. I was aided by having the world's poshest french guy and a guy who looked like Jesus on the front. I kept laying into them, and they took it well. I did lose it at one point though: I got these guys to start a Mexican wave. None of the crowd played along. So I said "Look, Jesus can do the wave, and he's been nailed to a cross." Big laugh. I then started with some teacher cliches. More laughs. I asked the students if any of them were studying to be teachers. More than half the room put their hands up. I started laughing. Apparently, it's a teaching college. Then some girl pipes up with... "and it's a Christian College too." I laughed for about five minutes. Nice crowd, and the new comedy graduates were all EXCELLENT.

Thursday December 1st - Buzzcomedy, The Ringside, Hull - 10 minutes, 30 people

John Marshall from Buzzcomedy kindly gave me this gig, in a fantastic little working mens club-esque setting. I went on third after Anthony Miller and James Christopher, when I think the crowd was just starting to get a bit pissed. Dealt with some crap heckling, some random noises from downstairs (that sounded like a massacre was afoot) and pretty much had laughs all the way through - which makes a change for a smaller gig.

Monday December 5th - The Slak, Cheltenham (Mirth Control) - 10 minutes, 80 people

My first Mirth Control gig, supporting the pros - and very nice they all were to me too, especially Greg Cook, who was lovely. Didn't go as well as I'd hoped, I was told I could go on longer and the only material I could remember from my longer set was bobbins, so decided to call it a night on a last half decent gag. Lots to learn from this one, methinks.

Tuesday December 6th - The Guildhall Arts Centre, Gloucester - 15 minutes, 80 people

As everybody knows, I love Nik Hill because he won't stop telling people I'm good, the wee liar. This was a much better gig than the previous night, and I settled down immediately after making a comparison to a guy in the front row and Lee Trundle. One person laughed, but it made me smile. The rest of the set went really well - I went on second after the excellent Juliet Myers and really enjoyed it.

Saturday December 17th - Belton Village Hall, Rutland - 25 minutes, 50 people

Agh. Bad. Now, for the audience this probably wasn't that shit. For me it was quite painful, doing a gig for my friend Chris' dad at a village christmas party. I made my mind up on the short drive there to see what the audience was like before working out which material to use. This proved wise, as whilst a comedian shouldn't have a "target audience" - my spiky haired visage was not what the good people of Belton wanted to see. I was a lot younger than most of the audience, a lot less middle class and they were VERY pissed. So, being the only act on I compered myself, did a joke competition, gave away booze and tried my hand at being "light entertainment". No-one seemed too unhappy, but a strange night for me - I begrudge getting laughs from gags other people have written.

Sunday December 18th - The Providence, Hove - 15 minutes, 30 people

Thanks to my Dad for driving me to this one, a gargantuan trip down south. I asked to open and did (as I had to get back for work the next day) and had fun in a quiet yet friendly room. A man sat at the front had a fantastic trilby AND a cravat. You can't teach style like that.

Monday December 19th - The Other Side Comedy Club, Bridlington - 10 minutes, 100 people

Awesome fun. Jon Reed runs a few clubs on the Yorkshire Coast and as well as being a good promoter, he's a cracking compere and film director. Lovely, very drunken Northern crowd that seemed to like me a lot, as well as buying all of my good chums Rob and Skatz's CDs after their stormer of a set. Jon has booked me again for the new year, in Scarborough and I can't wait. Well worth 7 hours in a car, there and back.

If you want to catch one of my upcoming gigs, please click here. To contact me, click here.


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